Navigating Food & Body Image in Sobriety

What Happened When I Got Sober

There is a moment in every woman’s life when she realizes she cannot keep living the way she has been. For some of us it hits like a quiet whisper and for others it arrives like a wave that knocks us flat. My moment was somewhere in the mess between the two. I did not wake up one day with everything magically figured out. I did not suddenly decide I would change my life forever. It happened slowly and then all at once when I hit my own personal rock bottom, the way real change usually does.

What I know now is that healing is not a finish line. Healing is a practice. It is something I work on every single day. Navigating food and body image in early sobriety was challenging and still sometimes is.

For most of my twenties and early thirties I felt like I was always chasing something. A smaller body. A better number on a scale. A version of myself that I could finally approve of. I kept thinking that if I could just eat a little cleaner or work out a little harder or stop snacking at night then everything would fall into place. Meanwhile I was also struggling quietly (or what I thought was quietly) with alcohol and using it to cope with stress and feelings I did not know how to sit with.. For a long time, I never said that part out loud.

When I finally quit drinking it was not graceful. It was messy and painful and full of fear. I felt like I was stepping into a new world without any of the tools the rest of the world seemed to have. I had no idea how to deal with stress without a drink in my hand. I had no idea how to sit with my body after years of judging it, punishing it, and trying to shrink it into something that finally felt acceptable. I did not know how to nourish myself without falling into obsession. I felt lost and unsure of who I was supposed to be. And in that space where alcohol used to live, food rushed in. I had no idea how to navigate food and my body image in sobriety.

I went from not caring at all about what I ate to obsessing over every calorie and every macro.

My entire sense of self worth was based on how clean my meals looked and how tight my leggings felt. I told myself I was being healthy. I posted my protein bowls. I tracked everything. I smiled. And behind closed doors I binged. I binged when I was anxious. I binged when I was sad. I binged when the world felt too loud. I would eat healthy in front of other people and when I was on my own I binged. Some days I would stop and get McDonald's (or some other fast food) and eat in my car before going home so people wouldn't know.

I kept thinking that if I just tried a new plan or a new diet or a new exercise routine then the binge eating would magically disappear. It never did. Instead, my body kept swelling and shrinking responding to extremes I place on it. At one point I was so bloated that I looked pregnant and even drinking water hurt. I went to the hospital terrified something was seriously wrong. I saw doctor after doctor and heard the same dismissive responses. Everything looks normal. There is nothing wrong. Try eating more fiber. Try eating less. Try this pill. Try that one. "Maybe you're just fat" is what I heard from one doctor at VGH.

When no one could tell me what was happening in my body I felt like I was going crazy. I felt unheard and unseen. And I know so many women feel the exact same way. That feeling like you are doing everything right and still nothing changes. That feeling like your body is fighting you. That feeling like you are trying so hard and no one understands.

Eventually, I found a holistic nutritionist who helped me take the very first steps. For the first time, someone looked at more than just my food. They gave me guidance, tools, and a starting point, but even then, I felt like something was being missed. I knew my past lifestyle, the years of stress, restrictive eating, over exercising, and alcohol, was being overlooked. No one seemed to understand how deeply my history had shaped my body, my liver, my pancreas, my nervous system. I carried pieces of myself that felt misunderstood, and I needed to understand them for myself.

The real turning point came when I went back to school in my thirties to study holistic nutrition. I wanted answers, not just surface level fixes, but insight into why my body reacted the way it did and how all the pieces of my past had contributed. I wanted to feel some sense of control over something that had felt chaotic for so long.

What I discovered was so much bigger than the science. I learned that the whole body is connected. Stress, sleep, and emotional health were not side notes, they were the foundation. Digestion did not happen in isolation; it responded to everything in our environment. Hormones did not care about calories, they cared about safety, nourishment, and gentleness. Food was not simply fuel, it was connection, comfort, joy, culture, and love.

This combination, my lived experience in recovery paired with my knowledge of holistic nutrition, is what sets me apart. I understand what it feels like to live in a body that feels out of control. I know the fear, the judgment, and the frustration that comes with trying to manage both food and recovery. I know what it feels like to slowly build trust, connection, and a sense of balance again. This perspective allows me to guide others in a way that no one else can, a way that truly considers both the science and the lived experience.

Chocolate Banana Breakfast Cookies Click for the Recipe

Slowly my life started to shift. I ate foods that supported my energy instead of punishing my body. I practiced letting go of labeling food as good or bad, though old habits and judgments still surfaced. I noticed when I was eating from stress or emotion, and I responded with curiosity instead of shame. I listened to my body instead of trying to control it, and that brought a sense of relief I had not felt in years.

My relationship with food is still a work in progress. There are days when old patterns creep in, and guilt or frustration surfaces. But I’ve learnt to separate my self-worth from what I eat or how my body looks.

My value is not in a number, a portion, or a clean meal. I practice self-compassion and notice the small moments of trust I build with myself every day.

There is a shift in how I see myself. I am quieter with my inner critic. I catch myself replacing harsh words with curiosity and kindness. I feel more aligned with my body instead of in conflict with it. I notice my mind opening to patience instead of perfection. I still stumble, and that is okay. I’ve learnt that growth does not mean perfection and that self-love is a practice, not a destination.

Along the way I’ve reconnected with myself in ways I never knew were possible. I notice my emotions and intuition. I feel guidance from something larger than myself, whether I call it spirit, a higher power, or simply my inner wisdom. It gives me strength to pause instead of reacting, to trust the process even when it feels messy, and to take actions that support my health and well-being. This connection is subtle, but it grounds me and reminds me I am not alone in this journey.

This year I celebrated 8 years alcohol free. Eight years of choosing myself again and again. Eight years of learning to feel my feelings instead of numbing them. Eight years of slowly building trust with my body, mind, and spirit. Now in my forties I feel stronger and more grounded than ever. I am learning to lift weights, carving out space for myself, and letting joy in even when life feels messy. I no longer chase perfection. I chase growth, presence, and peace.

There is a quote by Sally Field that I love. It says “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” That resonates so deeply because it is the heart of what I practice every day. Showing up for myself. Choosing kindness over criticism. Listening to my body, mind, and inner guidance. Trusting that I am becoming exactly who I need to be, one step at a time.

Curious if I can help you too? I'd love to chat. Click to book a call.

I’ve begun working with clients who are on similar paths. Women in recovery. Women struggling with binge eating. Women who have been stuck in cycles of restriction and self-blame. Women who feel like they are doing everything they can but still feel overwhelmed and disconnected from their bodies. Women who believe they must look a certain way to feel good.

I see myself in every one of them. I understand the guilt, the shame, and the fear of slipping back into old patterns. I understand how exhausting it can be to want to change but not know how to do it without falling into the same cycles again. Most importantly I understand that healing is not about perfection. It is about compassion.

My approach is not about restriction or strict rules. It is about adding support instead of removing. Adding nourishment, rest, structure, joy, and kindness. It is about learning what your body needs and offering it with love. It is about creating routines that fit your life, not the other way around. It is about reconnecting with your body and your soul.

Now I feel called to work intentionally with people in recovery and people struggling with body image. I want to create a safe space where women feel seen, heard, and supported. A space where you do not have to pretend everything is fine. A space where you can slowly rebuild your relationship with food, your body, and your self-worth without judgment.

If you are in recovery or struggle with body image and food has become another area of obsession, I understand. If your body has changed and you are not sure how to support it, I understand. If you want to feel good again but don't know where to start, I understand. You deserve guidance, compassion, and support that meets you exactly where you are.

I share my story because I want you to know that change is possible. Peace is possible. Feeling at home in your body is possible. You are not broken. You are becoming.

Your journey may feel messy at times, and old patterns may still surface. That is okay. Every step, even the small ones, matters. Learning to trust yourself, honor your body, and give yourself grace is not about perfection, it is about connection, presence, and growth.

I know what it feels like to struggle with food, body image, and recovery, and I also know the power of having guidance along the way.

This is why I work with women like you. Supporting you to rebuild trust with your body, make peace with food, and create daily habits that actually fit your life. You do not have to navigate this alone. Together we can focus on small, meaningful changes that help you feel confident, grounded, and connected to yourself again.

You are learning. You are growing. You are becoming the person you need to be for yourself, one step at a time.

Want to talk? Book a call :)